What I've Learned from Gardening
Prepping for the Spring recently made me realise just how much I love to garden by my own rules.
I had my first ‘garden’ in 2014 on my fire escape in NYC. Apparently this was illegal behavior, but I would not be deterred. This garden consisted of tomatoes, basil and I think cilantro. Over the next several years, I tried growing beefsteak tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, peppers (I got one purple pepper, lol), basil, cilantro, rosemary and mint. It was a small garden, often looked after diligently in the spring and slowly watered less and less over the hot summer. But, the fruits of my labor made for the most incredible caprese salad, mojitos and many tomato snacks.
Drumsheugh Gardens (aptly named) was my next garden, along with my co-gardener. We had a north facing garden (which is what the Brits would say), but it was essentially a stone and pebble patio. That just meant we had pots everywhere, along with a 6ft planter we built and some small little beds we put over the rocks.
This was 2019, and until this point, I really didn’t know much about gardening.
My grandpa had a large garden in Spokane, WA, filled with raspberries and rhubarb. He must have had other things in there, too, but I genuinely don’t know what they were. My parents also tried gardening over the years. I’ve heard of an infamous garden when we lived in Omaha (I was five) where we had carrots and bunnies. There was also the very famous incident of the raspberries on the hill in the direct midwest sun that didn’t pan out very well (RIP sticks in the air). My mom has had herbs growing on the screened in porch for years, but I could not tell you when that started.
I knew macro things like mangos and oranges needed to be somewhere really hot. I knew herbs were easy, basil was amongst the easiest. I knew raspberries preferred shade and lots of water. I had heard bulbs could only be planted on one day of the year (I’ve since learned that’s just in the Midwest or somewhere bipolarly hot) and there was an almanac that hadn’t been wrong in 200 years (or something like that).
I didn’t know north facing from south facing (something a lot of British people love to talk about for everything from sun exposure to plants to paint colors), certain zones that determine what will and won’t grow in them, and that only one in two seedlings are supposed to survive (actual RIP).
Then, there are also rules of what plants go well with others (apparently, clematis only approve of certain plants near them), certain plants need a blanket over the winter, some are very poisonous to dogs and cats (something to actually take seriously), and some need to be planted next to each other for optimal fruit / veg (co-dependents).
Whenever I tell people that we garden and grow things and eat some of those things, they are genuinely impressed. And I’ve never really known why, until trying to plan out an actual-dirt-in-the-ground-connected-to-other-plants garden.
When we were planning it out last year, we received a lot more ‘rules’. Which was very stressful, until I remembered that we don’t have to follow them.
In 2019, I became very into gardening. This was before Finn, so I think I was exercising my motherhood skills. It was also post-MBA and I had a flat with a garden (patio, for the Americans) instead of a twin size room.
Ian told me none of the things I wanted to grow would work, but I didn’t care. I planted many seeds. I fed them each morning, checking their progress from the night before. I even moved their tray around every couple of days making sure they received the maximum amount of light our flat could give it.
After the absolute devotion I poured into these seedlings (I refused to throw away the second one, only the dead-on-their-own ones), Ian largely let me do what I wanted in the garden. He was not as interested in the garden because it was north facing (he’s British) and thought if I just tried things out, I would learn myself what worked and what didn’t.
I planted so many things in that little garden. Courgettes (zucchinis), tomatoes (in a plastic greenhouse), potatoes, carrots, swiss chard, sage, oregano, thyme, mint, and beetroot. There were ferns, hosta’s, roses, and a lot of other flowers that I forgot their names. There was even an acer tree and a hydrangea (though those were in the south facing front - am I becoming British?).
Sure, our courgettes were smaller than those grown in the country. The tomatoes never turned red (that might have also been because I didn’t prune the leaves), but they made great chutney. The carrots never really came, and the potatoes grew in lots of fun, little weird shapes.
But, I didn’t care.
I broke all the rules, and had the most fun!
Each day was a new discovery. And thanks to the lockdown, I had the time to really watch nature unfold.
And it is fascinating!
The seeds popping through the dirt, the tiny little mighty strength it takes to do that. The leaves popping out as tiny, little buds that literally unfold each day. The fact that many fruits and vegetables start off as a flower first, which is then turned into fruit / vegetable by bees. Bees, once my absolute arch nemesis, now a comfortable outdoor friend (I’m still not one with the wasp though - British or American).
Now that we have a south facing garden (I am British now), there’s more input from Ian and rightfully so. But, he still lets me do what I want. Like planting things before the borders were actually formed, or planting things too close together, or putting a million bulbs in the ground the first year.
Because it’s fun for me. And, if we don't like it, we just change it.
If it becomes to crouched, we move it. If we’re sure where exactly to prune (lavender, you are a beautiful tart), we just make some cuts. If we think something is dying, we give it a lot of water (for indoor plants, submerge in water for thirty minutes). If it does dies, it’s okay! We put it in the garden waste or compost and think of what else to grow instead.
Plants are so resilient!
I forgot that two hyacinth bulbs were planted in separate pots, stacked on top of each other with another pot on top. Somehow they found a way to grow! Though they were bent, growing lopsided and only had a handful of flowers, after two days unstacked, they righted themselves and bloomed.
Nature is amazing.
So, with all that, here is what I’ve learned:
Gardening is supposed to be fun! Do whatever ‘fun’ looks like to you.
Everything has a season for flowering.
Just because progress isn’t seen, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Winter is a really important time for plant’s nutrients.
Some things take time. It takes three years for a peony root to flower. Show me a person who thinks peonies aren’t worth it.
Take joy in the little things and the little steps. The ground breaking because a bulb is starting to emerge is absolutely incredible.
Bugs are your friends! I’m still not sure of the importance of woodlice (Americans: see rolly polly) or spiders (I’ve heard they’re important…) but for the most part, bugs are good.
Save the bees! They are in genuine fear of extinction. Without them, we won’t have vegetables or fruits.
Enjoy your harvest! Cut the damn flower and bring it inside if you want. Eat that veg or fruit! Or gift it to someone who will.