Friday night Ian asked me, surrounded by some of our favorite things: our renovation home, IJ Mellis meat and cheese, Jimmy Durante, and Finn (who kept shagging in the background, lol).
It was simple, thoughtful and very us. He even counted on me snooping for the ring at home on Friday afternoon!
A couple months ago, we went to finalise the ring and diamonds together.
On a Wednesday morning, Ian said he needed to go shopping for some shoes. I thought nothing of it until a couple hours later when he still wasn’t back. He picked up my phone call absolutely giggling. It was confirmed: he was officially ring shopping.
I had a particular style that I wanted, and he wanted to make sure I was happy. So, on the Friday, we went to finalise the ring and diamonds together.
Afterwards, we went for a cocktail at a nearby pub. Ian’s parents were coming over with his sister that night, and because we were in a celebratory mood, we asked them to pick up some Cremant on the way over. They were all very happy and excited for us, and it felt a bit like a mini-celebration.
It wasn’t until the next morning when his sister texted me asking if a mutual friend knew we were engaged.
Engaged?
No, we just picked out and bought the ring together, I said.
The following week, when I recounted this story to my boss, he asked the same thing.
Which made me think about what it actually means to get engaged.
Before all of this, we have both asked each other to marry each other, often in jokey tones. We’re living our life in a married way - we own a home together, finances are together, we have a dog, and we’re in the process of trying to get pregnant. More importantly, we’ve chosen to do all of this together.
So, if the only thing that was actually stopping us from being engaged, stopping us from even discussing wedding planning, was the actual ring. Well, what did that mean?
Why is the ring, the ‘down on one knee’ the indicator of a couple being engaged? Surely, choosing to live life together, in all the ways, should mean they’re engaged.
I’m sure the answer lies in capitalism and Queen Victoria, and I have no answer.
But, now that we are officially engaged, I can say that there is something magical about the whole act. The sweet words, the lit candles, the bucket of tears (from Ian), the nodes to the little pleasures we both love, the down on one knee, the hugs and kisses, the ring, the phone calls to family and friends, the officialness of it all.
Even if I suppose we have been ‘engaged’ - true partners - for a while, the actual proposal was magic.